I believe that– regardless of our age– we all have a “high-schooler” voice inside our heads just a little bit, don’t we?
It’s the voice that tells you that your interests define you.
It’s the voice that makes you want to look better in front of certain people.
It’s the voice that urges you to showcase your latest possession or accomplishment for the sole purpose of boosting your status.
I definitely still have a little “high school” kid living inside my brain. It’s what urges me to check my “likes” on Facebook and feels the need to look pretty at parties. It’s the voice that tells me to avoid someone I know if I haven’t put my makeup on yet.
But in the past few years, I’ve come to an important realization: no one is really watching me. And if they are, I value my husband’s opinion much more than theirs. It’s pretty awesome, really.
It’s fantastically freeing when you realize you’re old enough to not have to be cool anymore.
I wish this would happen all at once, but like most things in life, this process is usually quite gradual.
It helps when you become a parent. There is a sense of greater purpose from the moment you hold your child in your arms for the first time. As parents, we don’t have quite as much space in our lives for self-preservation.
And yet still, the voice whispers, doesn’t it?
Maybe someday this voice will completely disappear, but in the meantime I’m excited that at least I’m making progress in this area.
So, here’s some of my “inner nerd”– the things I never would have admitted in high school:
* I watched every episode of Battlestar Galactica– and I frackin’ loved it. (Not a typo).
* I hate 80’s movies.
* I’d rather stay in on Fridays, than go out.
* I hate going to most parties, unless my best friends are there.
* I’m frequently in the mood for karaoke.
* I prefer weak alcoholic drinks, because I have no alcohol tolerance.
* I want people to think I’m poised, but I’m actually a little bit of a goofball.
* I love grammar and diagramming sentences.
* I sometimes forget what the “club” is called in card games and call it the “clover” on accident.
* I enjoy reading aloud to myself.
* I still count on my fingers.
* I love watching singing competitions.
* I hated Grey’s Anatomy, but watched the entire thing.
* I find Roth IRA’s sort of exciting.
* I like doing weird voices when I’m in a silly mood.
All right– there you go. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
Keep in mind that freeing yourself from these childish mentalities in no way gives you a hall pass to embarrass your kids OR permission to “let yourself go.”
On the contrary, when we give ourselves permission to be free from childish comparisons, it allows us to become the best version of ourselves-– the version that is focused on balance, joy and love.
Feel free to share your inner nerd confession in the comments below– because no one really cares! And it’s much more fun to be the “real” you anyway!
Make sure to share this post with a friend who knows your “inner nerd” & have a good laugh. 🙂
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