This month at Room for Joy, we’ve talked a lot about our inner world as moms. We’ve discussed the importance of stillness, the value of resting during naptime & how to make doable New Year’s Resolutions. Today, I want to raise a question about our outer world:
As moms, does our physical appearance really matter?
If I were to guess, I think most moms would say that taking care of our appearance does matter, but in reality– it’s the first thing to go when our kids need something.
I’ve always struggled with the balance between over and under-emphasizing my physical appearance. I’ve swung to both ends of the spectrum during different seasons of my life, but in my 20’s, I finally struck a healthy balance. Then I became a mom. And suddenly, I went into hyper-caretaker mode– and forgot that balance.
When I had a baby, I became unwilling to spend a moment or a dime on myself.
There’s something about this mentality that feels good– like you are giving up everything for your family. However, there is a danger in it. When we give everything to others, we soon run out of water in our well, so to speak. It’s counterintuitive, but in order to give more to our families we must take care of ourselves too– and that includes our appearance.
Luckily, I have an awesome husband who helped me realize this. When I’d fully recovered from having a baby, he insisted on taking me shopping. It was painful for me. I was concerned about money and didn’t want to spend anything on myself. If anything, I should buy things for my baby, right? But he saw my need to get back in touch with myself– and he met it, when I didn’t even know that I needed it. And you know what? It felt great. And I have more to give to my family as a result.
If you’re struggling with this balance, here are some reminders of why taking care of yourself is vital to your joy!
5 Good Reasons To Take Care of Your Appearance:
1. It raises your standards.
You know that expression: “Dress for the job you want?” It’s easy to think that doesn’t apply to us as moms, especially if you stay home with your kids. But what if we started applying this concept to being a mom? Do you want to be a confident mom? Do you want to be a self-possessed mom? Then dress for THAT. This doesn’t mean high heels at a play date at the park, but maybe take your look one notch up from where you are at now. Add a little makeup. Curl your hair. Dab on some lipstick. Take an extra shower. Shave your legs. It WILL boost your confidence, as you face the world.
2. It reminds us that we are people too. 🙂
As moms, we often have a tendency to take care of everyone BUT ourselves. This should not be! Taking time on your appearance forces you to take a tiny bit of ‘you’ time in the day and is a reminder that it’s okay to take care of yourself.
3. It means a lot to our men.
I used to think it was shallow that men care how we look, but I’ve changed my mind. Particularly in marriage, how you look matters to your spouse. Taking care of yourself puts positivity in the air and will likely encourage your husband to do the same!
4. It teaches our children that taking care of ourselves is important.
If we take care of everyone but ourselves, our children will notice eventually. Especially if you have a daughter, modeling a healthy balance of self-care and inward care is invaluable to her.
5. It makes us feel so much better!
Often, on days when I’m really sick with Lyme disease, I just don’t have it in me to do my makeup or get dressed up. But when I have just enough energy to do so, I try to do it–even if I’m staying home all day. Why? Because putting yourself together can definitely boost your mood!
It’s important to remember that how you look does not determine your value as a human being. However, that doesn’t mean that there is no value in it either. Mamas, remember to do your hair, paint your nails, take a deep breath and take good care of yourselves this week! 🙂