Have you noticed that not all “mom days” are created equal?
Some days our kids are little angels; they put their toys away and give us plenty of hugs. Other days, it’s like they wake up and think: “How can I ruin mom’s day?”
They throw fits.
They destroy the furniture.
Like chinese water torture, each little offense builds on the last.
And suddenly…we lose it!
Sometimes we yell.
Sometimes we curse.
Sometimes we over-punish the offense.
We’ve all been there.
So, you’ve freaked out on your kid and they are giving you the ‘What’s wrong with mom?’ look.
What now? How do you recover?
In the moment, most of us know to separate ourselves from the situation (mentally at least), take a deep breath and switch activities.
But then what? You likely still have your whole day (and week!) ahead of you. What do you do?!
Here are 5 Helpful Ways to Recover from a ‘Freak Out’ (& Keep It From Happening Again!)
1. Examine Your Heart & Your Stress Level.
Start by examining why you snapped. If you find yourself snapping often, you probably have too much on your plate. Take time to look at your commitments and ask yourself: Is there something I need to drop to reduce my stress? Even small changes help!
2. Ask Your Kid to Forgive You.
We don’t have to apologize every time we get a little stressed out, but when we genuinely overreact, it’s important to tell our kids we were wrong. In doing so, we model a behavior we are likely teaching them and show them that we are people too.
Even if you think your kid is too little to understand, apologize anyway; it’s good practice. 🙂
3. Forgive Yourself.
It’s easy to focus on what we are doing wrong as moms. When we overreact to a situation, it’s even easier to dwell on it. Don’t! Instead, use the time to think about how to do it better next time.
4. Don’t be overly nice.
It can be easy to swing too far in our “mom guilt” by spoiling or bribing our kids to make us feel better. You know– give them ice cream, let that tantrum go, etc. Sometimes this is okay in small proportion. If you’ve decided ‘it’s just one of those days’– a bowl of ice cream is not a terrible idea. But don’t let this become the norm. Don’t let your bad behavior justify theirs.
5. Feed Your Own Needs.
Once your kids have gone down for nap or bed, be kind to yourself. If you are snapping a lot, you are probably worn thin. It takes practice to take care of ourselves, especially when our entire day revolves around caring for another human being.
Consider your needs. Are you eating well? Are you taking time for inner thought? Are you exercising? Are you sleeping enough?
All of these things can feel like ‘extras’ as moms. While there are seasons when we can’t take care of all of our needs, I truly believe the more we take care of ourselves, the more patience we will have with our kids.
If you forget all of these things in the moment, just remember– you don’t ruin your kids with one bad day. It’s our patterns and habits that shape our kids for life!